I just want to quickly throw out that BDSM doesn't necessarily entail using violence. BDSM is more about dominance and submission, which may or may not include pain as part of the sex. But it's certainly not required, included, and many couples interested in BDSM live fulfilling sex lives without any pain involved :)
I don't have anything else to note, but I am interested in what criticisms you've seen in radfem communities about BDSM. I haven't seen any as late, although I have read about the necessity of gaining consent via verbal/non-verbal safe words.
Thanks for starting this thread.
To play bdsm games was my desire and, recently, it's come true. My girlfriend was hesitant to take the plunge, but I convinced her. I bought bdsm harness on this site and convinced her that she would not be hurt and that I would be gentle and affectionate with her in bed. it brought new emotions for us both and we played for hours. We will continue to practice this and more often, as it helps us become closer and makes our bond more enduring.