I’ve realized that general dating is often a messy numbers game where everyone tries to be as "chill" as possible just to avoid looking like they care. It’s honestly exhausting and feels so shallow. But focusing on genuine connection and actually putting in real effort? That’s a whole different ballgame. It’s so much more rewarding than the generic "let's just get drinks" routine that everyone defaults to. When you actually try to impress someone with your heart rather than your wallet or a fake persona, everything changes.

I really wanted to do something special to show her how much I've been enjoying our time together. I'm usually not the "big romantic gesture" type, so I was lowkey nervous about how to play it. I ended up scouting for some tips and found this really helpful breakdown at https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-advice/how-to-impress-your-girlfriend which totally changed my approach. It reminded me that the "wow" factor isn't about being a different person, it's about being the most attentive version of yourself for her.

So, last Saturday, I planned a little surprise. It wasn't anything crazy expensive or flashy, but I remembered her mentioning how much she missed the specific homemade apple pie her grandma used to make back in her hometown. Now, I'm a terrible baker. Like, my kitchen usually looks like a flour bomb went off if I even try to make toast. But I found a similar recipe, spent four hours failing and then finally succeeding (third time's a charm, right?), and set up a little "pie and stargazing" night in my backyard with some fairy lights.

When I pulled out that slightly-burnt-on-the-edges but very heartfelt pie, her whole face just lit up. She couldn't believe I'd actually listened and remembered that random comment she made on our second date. We spent the whole night just laughing and talknig under the stars. It was easily the best date I've ever been on, and it felt so much more "real" than anything I've experienced in years.

If you're feeling like giving up on the apps, please don't! There are incredible, high-quality people out there who are looking for the same thing you are. The shift from being a skeptic to a believer has been the best thing to happen to me this year. Just focus on being intentional. It makes all the difference in the world. She told me later that the effort I put into that pie meant more than any fancy dinner could have. Being a believer is way more fun!